The Season of Self: From Holiday Obligation to Intentional Celebration

The car idles in your parents’ driveway, warm light spilling from the windows and shadows of laughter dancing on the curtains. You grip the steering wheel, heart quickening. Inside, family awaits with decades of traditions and expectations. Inside, you’re the good son, the agreeable daughter, the one who never rocks the boat. But out here, in the quiet of your car, a small voice asks: “What about what I need this holiday?” In that pause, caught between the pull of obligation and the longing for authenticity, you face a choice: continue the familiar script of self-abandonment, or dare to honor yourself and step into the holidays with intention.

The Weight of Holiday Obligations

For many of us, “the most wonderful time of the year” arrives heavy with expectation and obligation. We inherit unspoken scripts about how the holidays should be, which gatherings to attend, how to behave, even what happiness is supposed to look like. We play roles written for us in childhood: the peacemaker smoothing conflicts, the tireless host ensuring everyone else is comfortable, the achiever striving to make everything perfect. These roles aren’t accidents, they’re survival strategies adopted over years to keep the peace. And yet, wearing these familiar costumes often means losing pieces of ourselves in the process.

It’s no surprise that “holiday obligation” can breed quiet turmoil. Nearly nine in ten adults say they feel stressed by things like money pressures, missing loved ones, or anticipating family conflict during this season and 79% admit that they become so focused on creating special moments for others that they overlook their own needs. We say “yes” to every invite, bake the pies from scratch, buy just the right gifts, all the while ignoring the inner voice whispering that we’re exhausted, or hurting, or yearning for a different way. The holidays, meant for joy and connection, instead start to feel like an emotional endurance test run on autopilot. We find ourselves counting down the days not with excitement, but with anxiety and a hope that we can simply get through it without falling apart.

The Cost of Self-Abandonment

When you consistently abandon yourself to meet external expectations, the toll runs deep. Resentment often simmers beneath the surface cheer. You might recognize that pang when you’ve stretched yourself too thin, agreeing to buy items out of your budget, host the big family dinner (again), or travel to three different houses in one day to please everyone. Each time we override our own needs or values to fulfill a sense of duty, we chip away at our peace. Overextended and running on fumes, it’s common to feel anxious, irritable, or utterly drained while everyone else seems to be enjoying the festivities. In private, you may wonder why you feel so unlike the “happy” version of yourself you try to portray.

Beyond the emotional strain, self-abandonment can impact our physical and mental wellness. Chronic holiday stress, specifically the kind that comes from constantly people-pleasing and “keeping the peace,” can lead to fatigue, weakened immunity, and lingering blues long after the decorations are put away. In one survey, a majority of Americans (51%) said it takes them weeks to decompress and feel less stressed after the holidays. Think about that: by the time we recover, we’re often already well into the new year, carrying the baggage of last year’s burnout. When our inner well is empty, moments that should be meaningful may barely register. We’re physically present at the party, but our spirit is far away, lost in the haze of obligation. This is the quiet heartbreak of self-abandonment: being surrounded by loved ones yet feeling invisible, because we have made ourselves invisible.

Shifting from Obligation to Intention

What would it look like to flip the script, to approach the holidays from intention rather than obligation? It starts with one brave, pivotal question:

“Am I choosing this, or am I reacting out of guilt or habit?”

Pause and ask yourself this whenever the familiar pull of “I have to do this” creeps in. That small moment of reflection creates space for a more grounded response.

Shifting to intention doesn’t mean abandoning your family or ditching tradition entirely. It means participating by choice, not by default. It means letting go of the black-and-white thinking that you either please everyone or please yourself, in reality, there is a liberating gray area in between. In this gray space, you can honor both connection and rest without losing yourself in obligation. For example, you might decide to attend the annual gathering but drive separately so you can leave when you need to. You might choose one beloved tradition (baking cookies with your nieces, perhaps) to fully engage in, and gently skip another that no longer feels authentic. You can offer support to your family without assuming responsibility for everyone’s emotions.

Each intentional choice is like a breath of fresh air in a stuffy room. At first, others may not understand the change, especially if you’ve long been the one who always complies. That’s okay. When pressed, calmly express that you’re trying something new this year to make the holidays more meaningful and sustainable. Authenticity can be contagious, your shift may even give loved ones permission to share their own needs and limits. By choosing intention over obligation, you transform the holiday experience from a performance into an actual celebration, one where you have a say in what celebration means to you.

Practicing Self-Honoring (Actionable Ideas)

Embracing self-honoring over self-abandonment is a practice, one that grows easier with preparation and courage. Here are a few gentle, actionable ways to start rewriting your holiday script in alignment with your wellbeing and values:

• Start with Self-Reflection: Before the holiday bustle hits full swing, carve out a quiet moment to check in with yourself. Journal or meditate on what you truly want from this season. Is it rest? Spiritual renewal? Deeper one-on-one connections instead of big parties? Get clear on your intentions so you can anchor your decisions in them.

• Set One Loving Boundary: Identify one situation where you often feel stretched too thin or uneasy during the holidays. Practice setting a compassionate boundary around that scenario. It could sound like, “I’d love to come by for Thanksgiving, but I will be heading home around 8 PM to recharge.” This statement affirms your love for family and your responsibility to your own wellbeing. Remember, a boundary is an act of love, not a rejection.

• Reimagine a Tradition: Give yourself permission to update or let go of traditions that no longer resonate. If hosting the big dinner causes more anxiety than joy, maybe propose a potluck or a rotating host system. If endless gift exchanges feel expensive or impersonal, suggest drawing names, setting a price limit, or donating to charities in each other’s names. Replace “we do this because we always have” with rituals that feel sincere and light you up.

• Plan Micro-Exits and Micro-Resets: Support yourself with small strategies to stay centered. Drive your own car to gatherings so you can leave when energy runs low, or take a brief walk between dinner and dessert to breathe and regroup. Even stepping into the bathroom for a few slow breaths, or noticing the sensation of your feet on the ground, can help reset a frazzled nervous system. These tiny breaks ensure you remain present and regulated, instead of running on reflex and fumes.

• Lean on a Support System: Self-honoring doesn’t mean doing everything alone. Confide in an ally which may be a sibling, partner, or friend. Tell them about your intention to approach the holidays differently. Having someone in your corner, even silently, can reinforce your resolve when guilt or old habits start tugging at you. If tensions arise, a quick knowing glance or encouraging text from your ally can remind you that you’re choosing a healthy path, and you’re not alone in it.

Above all, speak to yourself with kindness throughout this process. It’s easy to fall into self-criticism if others push back or if you stumble into old patterns (“Ugh, I promised myself I wouldn’t get sucked into that drama…” etc.). Instead, celebrate every small step you take toward honoring your needs. Each “no” that protects your peace, each honest conversation, each tradition tweaked in a healthier direction are all victories. They are evidence that you are showing up for yourself, not just for everyone else.

Self-Honoring as a Regenerative Gift

Deep down, choosing self-honoring over self-abandonment isn’t selfish, it’s regenerative. Think of your energy and emotional wellbeing as a garden. When you constantly give and perform out of obligation, without tending to your own soil, that garden withers. But when you honor yourself, when you rest, say no, ask for help, or follow what feels genuinely meaningful, you are watering your roots. You’re replenishing the very source from which your love and presence flow. Over time, this practice yields a lush garden of authenticity, resilience, and even more to give others from a full heart.

Importantly, self-honoring can rewrite inherited stories in real time. Perhaps you come from a culture or family where sacrifice is equated with love. You can respect that history and evolve it. By gently stepping out of the old role you were assigned, you model a new way forward, one where love is not measured by how much of yourself you can sacrifice. The truth is, when you take care of yourself, you’re not betraying anyone. You are stepping out of roles that no longer serve you and creating space for relationships that are more honest and alive. Over time, those around you may come to appreciate the more relaxed, genuine YOU that shines when you’re no longer acting from duty alone.

As the snow falls or the lights twinkle this year, imagine writing your own holiday story, one intentional choice at a time. You might find that presence means more than presents, and that a peaceful cup of cocoa by the fire (because you chose to leave the party early) can be just as sacred as any loud tradition. In honoring yourself, you give your loved ones the gift of a happier, healthier you and you give yourself the gift of belonging in your own life. After all, the season’s true spirit isn’t found in exhausting ourselves to meet expectations, it’s discovered in those moments where we are fully here, heart and mind, true to who we are.

Call to Action: This holiday season, dare to put you on your gift list. What is one intention you will set to honor your needs and joy? Take a moment to reflect, maybe write it down or share it with a loved one. And as you venture into this intentional holiday, remember that every time you choose self-honoring over self-abandonment, you’re contributing to a more regenerative, authentic way of life for you and everyone around you. You deserve to thrive this season and beyond, give yourself that permission, and watch the magic unfold. 

Abandoning Self-Abandonment: When Your Own Voice Becomes Home Again

There’s a particular sound your own voice makes when it remembers you.

Not the voice you use in meetings, not the one polished for panels or interviews, not even the one you slip into when people say, “You’re such a natural storyteller.”

I’m talking about the voice that comes out when you’re walking alone in your childhood neighborhood, or sitting in your parked car too long after an appointment, or whispering into your phone at 2:17 a.m. because if you don’t say this out loud, you’re afraid you might forget yourself again.

That’s the voice I’ve been chasing.
And, slowly, reclaiming.

The Sound of Self-Abandonment

For years, my voice was fluent in what the world needed from me.

I knew how to encourage a classroom. How to soothe a team. How to be the calm one, the wise one, the “you always know what to say” one.

I did not know how to say:
“I’m tired.”
“I’m not okay.”
“This isn’t working for me.”
“I don’t want this life I built in someone else’s language.”

Self-abandonment doesn’t begin as a dramatic betrayal.
It begins as a slight edit.

You soften your “no” into “maybe.” You trade an honest answer for the polite one. You choose the version of yourself that keeps the room comfortable, even if your body is begging you to leave.

Over time, that edit becomes a script. The script becomes a role. And the role becomes your entire personality.

Until one day you wake up and realize you have built an impressive life that does not feel like a home.

Why Sound? Why Now?

When I launched my sonic experiences, it wasn’t just a creative experiment.
It was an act of spiritual triage.

I was exhausted by screens and performance.
I was tired of autopiloting my way through healing, sharing perfect posts, polished language, aesthetically pleasing breakdowns.

I needed fewer visuals and more presence.
Less curation and more communion.

So I stripped everything down to voice.
No music. No fancy edits.
Just me, a mic, and the truth of where I actually was.

Those early recordings were shaky and raw.
Some of them will never leave my private folder.
But they taught me something I couldn’t learn anywhere else:

My nervous system trusts my voice before it trusts anyone else’s praise.

When I hear myself tell the truth out loud, something in my body unclenches.
The performance drops.
The teacher, strategist, curator, fixer all step aside and the human being steps forward.

That’s the part of me I am committed to not losing again.

The Four Acts: How My Voice Walked Me Home

Recently, I recorded a four-part audio series that traces the inner journey I’ve been on:

• Act I: Conditioning
  This was all about the early training: be agreeable, be grateful, be excellent, be small. My voice learned to carry other people’s expectations better than it carried my own needs.

• Act II: Collapse
  This was the quiet breakdown. My life looked “together” on the outside, but my inner world was held together with frayed threads and unspoken grief.

• Act III: Confrontation
  Here, I finally faced the questions I could no longer swallow: Who profits from my self-doubt? Who benefits from my over-functioning? Why does my body feel like a battlefield when I’ve done everything “right”?

• Act IV: Communion
  And finally, this was my decision to stop outsourcing my wholeness. To treat my own voice as a place to meet myself, not manage myself. To let my body, my desire, my boundaries, my curiosity have a say in how my life is designed.

Those four acts are not a hero’s journey.
They’re a circular path.

I still loop through all four, but now I move through them with more awareness, more language, and more compassion.

Abandoning Self-Abandonment: A Practice, Not a Performance

“Abandoning self-abandonment” sounds poetic. But in practice, it’s not glamorous.

It looks like:

• Pausing before you say “yes” and checking if your body really means it.

• Recording a voice note to yourself after a hard conversation and listening back for where you disappeared.

• Saying, “I need a moment,” instead of bulldozing your own feelings to keep the peace.

• Letting your art, your writing, your sound be honest before it’s impressive.

For me, it also looks like designing a life and body of work that doesn’t require me to erase myself in order to be effective.

That’s why my current focus initiatives, Abandoning Self-Abandonment, Ease as a Regenerative Practice, Auralism x Khalia, Purposefully Pursuing Pleasure, all live at the intersection of story, sound, and nervous system.

I’m not interested in helping people “optimize” their lives inside systems that demand their erasure. I’m interested in asking:

What becomes possible when we stop leaving ourselves?

Why Your Voice Matters to the Collective

This is bigger than individual healing.

When we normalize self-abandonment, we build families, workplaces, schools, and spiritual communities that rely on people overriding themselves to keep everything running.

We call martyrdom “good leadership.”
We call burnout “dedication.”
We call emotional numbness “maturity.”

But a world built on people abandoning themselves cannot sustain collective wellbeing.

The opposite is also true:

Every time one person chooses self-honoring over self-erasure, the ecosystem shifts a little.

• Boundaries modeled in one household become blueprints for healthier friendships and partnerships.

• A leader who refuses to glamorize burnout creates space for humane work culture.

• A creator who tells the truth instead of selling a fantasy gives permission for others to live, not just perform, their lives.

That’s why I’m starting this new season of my work with my own voice.

If I can’t hear myself clearly, I have no business telling the world how to transform.

An Invitation to Listen Differently

So here’s my invitation to you:

Sometime this week, take 3–5 minutes to record yourself talking.
No script. No performance.
Just you, talking to yourself about where you really are.

You don’t have to post it.
You don’t have to transcribe it.
Just share, and listen to your own voice.

Notice where your voice gets small, where it rushes, where it gets bright, where it trembles but refuses to lie.

Ask yourself:

• Where have I been leaving myself?

• What truth have I been rehearsing silently that I’m finally ready to say out loud?

• If I stopped abandoning myself, what would need to change, even in small, almost invisible ways in how I live, learn, love, and lead?

My work, from here forward, is a loud and gentle yes to those questions.

The truth is: I’m not just designing frameworks about regeneration and self-honoring. I’m living them, in public, in progress.

This four-act audio series is the first offering in that commitment. It’s my way of saying I am done disappearing into versions of myself that make everyone comfortable but leave me hollow.

I’m reclaiming the sound of my own life.
I hope, in some small way, it helps you reclaim yours too.

The Invitation

If you feel called, I’d love to hear from you. In the comments or your journal, complete this sentence:

“My voice has been carrying ______, but I want it to start carrying ______.”

Or, if that feels too vulnerable right now, just save this piece and come back when you’re ready. Either way, may you hear yourself more clearly than the noise of who you were told to be.

The Creator-in-Residence: How Brands, Cities, and Schools Can Build Regenerative Culture Not Just Content

What if creation sounded like healing? What if a brand campaign felt like a breath released? What if a school could graduate not only skilled workers but whole humans?

The Creator-in-Residence (CIR) is more than a title. I believe it’s a model blueprint for shifting from extraction to regeneration inside companies, campuses, cultural institutions, and communities. It’s where Creator-Educators are central to elevating humanity, where story becomes ceremony, voice becomes infrastructure, and content matures into culture.

Why Now?

The Problem: Ecosystems in Decline

Every world, whether natural, human, or institutional, thrives when it operates in balance. A beehive depends on nectar, a family relies on care, a city flourishes through trust, and a workplace grows when its people feel valued. In their natural state, all ecosystems are interdependent, resilient, and abundant.

But when extraction becomes the dominant mode of operating, when resources are drained without replenishment, ecosystems weaken. Malnourished hives collapse, communities fragment, organizations burn out, and entire societies spiral into disconnection. Our current systems, particularly in the Western context are designed to reinforce this extraction. They prioritize profit over people, control over creativity, and disease over wellbeing. 

The result is predictable: imbalance, inequity, and the deterioration of the very inhabitants these systems should sustain.

We are witnessing this decline in our classrooms, where outdated methods fail to nourish educators and their learners. In our communities, where disconnection erodes empathy, vulnerability, belonging, safety. In our industries, talent is exploited rather than cultivated. And in our culture, where scarcity narratives overshadow possibilities for abundance.

The problem is clear: we are operating in extractive systems that do not serve humanity’s collective flourishing.

The Solution: Championing Creativity to Build Regenerative Worlds

But close your eyes. Take a moment. Breathe.

Imagine if you traveled wherever you desired, but your journey wasn’t just about where you went, it was about how you returned home: restored, wiser, and more connected.

That’s what regeneration means to me, shifting from extraction to reciprocity and from consuming culture to co-creating with it. In nature, regeneration restores balance, in humanity, it restores meaning, and in business, it’s becoming the blueprint for long-term value. This is why we must prioritize platforms and invest in programming that champions collaboration and creativity, as now more than ever, it’s imperative to build regenerative systems in our homes, communities, schools, and workplaces. 

The Architects of Impact: How Creator-Educators Are Changing the Game

My skills intersect education, cross-cultural collaboration, storytelling, and social impact strategy. From the classroom to the creator economy, my experience along with my commitment to nurturing spaces that deepen connection, creativity and commerce are not just relevant, they’re essential to building regenerative worlds for all of us. This combination of dedication, expertise and versatility is what will give rise to our time’s most invaluable disruptors, Creator-Educators. Unlike influencers, Creator-Educators aren’t measured by likes. They’re measured by impact: their ability to unlock curiosity, courage, and capability.

I see Creator-Educators as perfect partners to document the future of the creator economy and that future is one where content doesn’t just entertain but enlightens, and where the stories we share become the new playbooks for how humanity might live, learn, lead and love.

Creator-Educators don’t exist to simply capture content. We move beyond the edge of one-off posts. As modern visionaries, innovative entrepreneurs, the new media moguls, and social impact thinkers, Creator-Educators aim to co-design consistent and carefully curated multi-sensory, multidisciplinary programming that can show the world what regenerative possibilities looks like. We design and amplify content-driven experiences, spaces, resources, and opportunities that replenish people, cultures, and the planet.

That’s the lens I bring to new partners who recognize we’re sitting at a pivotal moment in history. A moment in time where it is our collective responsibility to consider Creator-In-Residence initiatives so we can teach storytelling, practice experience design, and use cross-cultural exploration to highlight why now is the ideal time to prioritize building regenerative worlds, and experiment with how we begin to take action in real time.

Three Forces Have Converged:

• The creator economy is no longer a side hustle, it’s strategy. Major retailers and platforms are institutionalizing creator partnerships: Lowe’s launched a full Creator Network with MrBeast and a dedicated storefront, tying creators directly to commerce and product experiences. (Lowe’s Corporate)

• Gen Z is choosing creation as a career path. Morning Consult reports 57% of Gen Z would become influencers if given the chance, and trust in creators has risen notably since 2019. Universities are responding with new curricula and programs focused on the creator economy. (Morning Consult Pro)

• Institutions are formalizing residencies to shape innovation and culture. From YouTube’s product-shaping Creator-in-Residence cohorts to Solange’s three-year Scholar-in-Residence appointment at USC, residencies are moving from “artist perks” to strategic engines of R&D, audience engagement, and cultural leadership. (blog.youtube)

The signal is clear: Creator-Educators aren’t just promoting stories, they’re leveraging Creator-In-Residence partnerships and building regenerative systems and programming that audiences trust, return to, and buy from.

What a Creator-in-Residence (CIR) Actually Does

Unlike one-off influencer deals, a Creator-In-Residence embeds with a partner host (i.e. brand, educational institution, museum, foundation, hospitality group, etc.) to co-design activations, resources, or programming that serves real people in real time. 

Think: a living lab of content + community + curriculum.

In my new practice, Auralism × Khalia, as a CIR, I translate sound and story into a series of regenerative offerings that help open-minded explorers move from shame to sovereignty. A few examples:

• For Mindful Mornings: I curate and narrate meditations and offer micro-rituals that restore the nervous system.

• For Somatic Storytelling: I craft reverse-confessional narratives and reflection tools for emotional processing.

• For Erotic Imagination: I compose shame-free, guided sensual practices as a pathway to self-acceptance and relational health.

• For Voicework: I create second-person audio narratives that deepen listening, vulnerability, and leadership presence.

Across a 3–12 month residency, these and other series become a curriculum, customized to the host’s goals. The beauty of my CIR model is that it’s not only a professional offering but  a deeply personal artifact, something that is authored by someone living the work rather than simply designing programs for others.

In other words, I’m not just teaching regeneration, I’m modeling it. I am inviting potential host brands and institutions to co-create with me as a peer in exploration, not simply a consultant selling a framework.

Solange announcing her latest partnership with USC on October 13, 2025. The singer wore Fendi and Sophie Buhai jewelry.

Why the CIR Model Beats the One-And-Done Campaign

• From Marketing to Meaning: Creators-In-Residence help brands tell braver, truer stories, consistently. Long-form partnerships outperform “viral-hope” buys and align with the industry shift toward deeper creator integrations. (Forbes)

• From Audience to Community: Residencies create rituals from weekly lives, meditations, diaries and more. Creator-Educators and their CIR programming keeps people coming back, on and off platform. They also generate first-party insights that inform product, UX, service design and more. YouTube’s CIR has done this for years. (blog.youtube)

• From Optics to Outcomes: CIRs can be tied to wellbeing KPIs (i.e. retention, sentiment lift, stress-reduction feedback), educational KPIs (i.e. reflection completion, leadership scores), and revenue KPIs (i.e. subscriptions, merch, ticketing, co-branded drops).

• From Content Cost Center to Cultural R&D: Residencies open space for pilots whether that’s creator studios inside retail like Walmart’s creator studio movement, or my Auralism x Khalia sonic branding and live-to-commerce experiences that blend ritual, story, and shopping. (LinkedIn)

Pioneering Signals to Watch (and Cite When You Pitch)

• Solange × USC three-year Scholar-in-Residence highlights artistry can be embedded in academia as cultural research and community building. (Billboard)

• Lowe’s Creator Network where creators are tied to storefronts and signature events (Beast Games) to platform their expertise, authenticity, and relatability as architects of impact, not just media buys. (Lowe’s Corporate)

• YouTube CIR highlights creators shaping product, policy, and inclusion through ongoing cohorts including an LGBTQ+ residence focused on real feature change. (blog.youtube)

• Higher Ed’s Response more colleges are formalizing creator-career courses as Gen Z’s “dream job” becomes mainstream curriculum. (Forbes)

The Regenerative Case: What Brands, Cities, and Schools Gain

Brand Value

• Durable Trust: creators as internal culture carriers, not external contractors.

• Owned IP: episodic audio/video series, rituals, and events that compound. *

• Measurable Lift: engagement quality, sentiment, retention, and conversion.

Education Value

• Emotional Literacy at Scale: learning through listening and reflection.

• Career Relevance: creator economy skills with ethics and wellbeing.

• Cross-Discipline Labs: media, psychology, design, and leadership in one space.

Community Value

• Access to restorative experiences (often free or sliding scale).

• Safe, shame-free spaces around intimacy, grief, identity, and pleasure.

• Economic mobility: paid apprenticeships, fellowships, and creator studios.

Workforce Value

• Millennials and their Gen Z cousins want independence and are building it

• 94% (Gen Z) aim for financial independence and turn to entrepreneurial creator paths

• CIR programs help employers meet them where they live: purpose-led, skill-stacked, and self-authored. (Business Insider).

The Invitation

If you’re ready to move beyond campaigns and into communion, to create work that feels as good as it performs, consider a Creator-in-Residence. 

Embed humanity. Design rituals. Measure regeneration.

I’m enrolling a small number of hosts for three, six, nine, and 12-month residencies across wellness, beauty, hospitality, education, media, culture, and Corporate Social Responsibility.

Let’s create a season of regeneration your audience will hear, feel, remember and return to.

The Treasure Chest & the Side Character: The Practice of Reversing Identity Grief

I’ve been exploring how to move from default living to intentional design.

I decided to reflect on what I’ve been learning after coming across the photo above.

I recently found that pic of myself at 18. I remember being bright-eyed, curious, unafraid of possibility. Somewhere between that girl and the woman I became, my life began to fill with “treasures” that weren’t mine.

• Titles.

• Timelines.

• Roles.

• Expectations.

At first, the chest looked impressive. Full, polished, respectable. But here’s the truth: A chest that looks full on the outside can still feel hollow inside.

That’s the quiet ache of identity grief, realizing the life you’ve built doesn’t feel like yours. Identity grief is sneaky. It doesn’t scream.

It whispers through mornings when you wake up with dread instead of excitement.

It seeps in when you feel like a side character in your own story, going through the motions, checking off boxes, playing a role you never auditioned for.

It shows up in the gap between what society applauds and what your soul actually desires.

On paper, you’re “on track.” But in your spirit, you’re lost. That’s when the chest feels heavy. That’s when the auto-pilot becomes unbearable. Default living doesn’t just drain us, it disconnects us.

It disconnects us from others because our relationships are built on roles and performances, not truth.

A life on autopilot disconnects us from ourselves because every compromise chips away at authenticity.

And that disconnection has a cost: anxiety, exhaustion, resentment, and the slow erosion of joy.

I know because that was my reality for longer than I care to admit.

But I’ve been sitting with that.

The grief.

And what I’ve learned?

Grief in this form is an invitation. A call to open the chest and take inventory. To stop living on auto-pilot and step into authorship.

Prompts that made me curious that I’m challenging you to ask yourself:

•  What in my life feels inherited, not chosen?

• Where am I performing instead of being my full self?

• What treasures do I actually want to keep, polish, and protect?

• What do I need to release so there’s room for what’s real?

 The process and the answers may feel uncomfortable.

But discomfort is the birthplace of alignment.

Identity grief is the wake-up call, a mirror.

It reminds us that our story isn’t over, but ready to be rewritten.

You get to choose again.

I decided to choose again.

And in choosing, you don’t just rebuild a life, you reintroduce yourself to the world as the author of your story, carrying a treasure chest filled not with timelines and “shoulds,” but with pleasure, full being, and purpose.

The grief of default living is real, but so is the freedom of design.

Your chest can be full again.

This time with treasures that reflect the soul you carry.

Rewriting the Narrative: From Surviving Systems to Designing New Avenues of Belonging, Learning, and Economic Freedom

For much of my life, I followed the prescribed path: earn the accolades, collect the degrees, do the work. I excelled as a student, led as an educator, and built a wellness company grounded in care. Yet even with the “right” credentials and titles, I often felt like I was simply surviving, navigating institutions that saw only parts of me, not the whole.

During a necessary sabbatical, I stopped to reflect not just on my professional trajectory, but on my human experience. It was in that pause that the cracks became clearer. Our current systems, especially in education, aren’t designed for wholeness. They often prioritize compliance over curiosity, production over pleasure, and standardized outcomes over cultural truth and wellbeing

This realization wasn’t just personal, it’s systemic.

Too many of us are navigating schools and workplaces that were never built with us in mind.

As a student, I often sensed that creativity and cultural identity were secondary to test scores.

As an educator, I witnessed brilliant minds being forced to shrink to fit systems instead of being supported to stretch into their power.

As a wellness professional, I worked with leaders and youth alike who were burnt out, boxed in, and unsure how to truly thrive.

And as a Black woman, I realized that my creative expression, healing, and leadership were not just personal acts, they were forms of social innovation.

That journey led me to create ZENtertainment™ Enterprises, a woman-owned, impact relations agency reimagining the future of education, talent development, and wellness by merging entertainment, tech, the arts, and economic opportunity. We are not just tinkering with the old, we’re prototyping new blueprints.

Today, at the center of our work is the ‘It Still Takes A Village’ (ISTAV) Campaign, a 4-year, cross-sector capacity initiative that invites underestimated young leaders and creator-educators into a global ecosystem of enrichment, employment, and expressive healing. Through project-based service-learning, curated career pathways, and immersive media, we are creating spaces where people can learn in ways that feel like belonging and grow in ways that lead to liberation.

Our digital platform, New Avenues, delivers microlearning, mentorship, paid externship matchmaking, and meaningful media designed to bridge the real-world gaps that traditional schooling has left behind.

We build with a bold yet tender question in mind:

What if education felt like joy, like justice, like coming home to yourself?

As Founder + CXO, I lead with:

• Curiosity rooted in lived experience and intellectual rigor

• Creativity forged at the intersection of culture, community, and wellness

• Courage to disrupt what no longer serves us

• Collaboration as the compass for everything we build

I’m not just building a company, I’m curating a movement. One that dares to imagine an educational experience that prepares people not just to make a living, but to make meaning.

This is the heart of ZENtertainment.

This is the vision behind It Still Takes A Village.

And this is the invitation: to explore new avenues, together.

The Courage to Connect: Why Pleasure-Centered Enrichment Experiences Are Essential for Our Wellbeing

In a recent interview, Deion Sanders (Coach Prime) and Dr. Bryant unpacked a deeply human challenge: the tension between protecting oneself and opening up to real connection. Sanders candidly shared how his past heartbreaks led him to guard his heart, illuminating a struggle that so many face: the fear that vulnerability will cost us more than it will give.

This dialogue struck a chord with me, as it echoes the very reason my first sonic experience was entitled “Please, BARE With Me: An Invitation to Celebrate Vulnerability and Resilience” and why I'm on a mission to champion pleasure-centered enrichment experiences. These are gatherings that invite people to unravel, reconnect, and engage with life fully without fear of emotional exposure.

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A post shared by Dr. Cheyenne Bryant (@_drbryant)

The Art & Science of Connection

During 'My Year of Kintsugi' a year-long mental health and research sabbatical, I stepped away from my faculty role to redefine my relationship with wellbeing, creativity, leadership, and innovation. I uncovered something both deeply personal and widely universal:

Humans don’t just want connection, we need it. But without safe, fulfilling, and reciprocal spaces, many of us shut down rather than risk being hurt.

The U.S. Surgeon General’s report on loneliness confirmed what I had already discovered through lived experience and my previous work as an executive matchmaker: our health, happiness, and even longevity are directly tied to our ability to form meaningful, real relationships. Eventbrite’s "Fourth Spaces" report further underscored that people are craving gatherings where they can be present, feel deeply, and experience joy with others outside of transactional interactions. I share more of my observations on fourth spaces here.

Pleasure as a Pathway to Transformation

Pleasure-centered enrichment experiences are a response to this crisis of disconnection. These spaces don’t just entertain or distract—they nourish. They are intentionally designed to:

• Encourage openness by lowering our emotional walls through joy, creativity, and shared experience.

• Provide a sense of belonging where people can be seen, heard, and valued without pretense.

• Activate self-awareness & growth which helps us reclaim parts of ourselves that we’ve buried under "productivity" and "performance."

Unlike conventional networking events or wellness retreats that focus on "self-improvement" from a place of deficiency, pleasure-centered enrichment experiences frame connection, creativity, and self-exploration as acts of abundance. These are not spaces where we force ourselves to be more, do more, or prove more. Instead, they are spaces where we reclaim our right to simply be.

Reimagining How We Gather

When I think about leaders who embody the spirit of pleasure-centered enrichment and radical self-expression, I think of women like Cami Arboles who uses movement as an artistic and sensory practice, inviting us to feel at home in our bodies as well as Iman Europe who transforms emotions into sonic experiences that offer healing and affirmation.

I highlight six other women who curate experiences, whether through movement, storytelling, music, or advocacy, that invite us to engage fully with life, rather than passively observe it.

Your Invitation to Experience More

We often think of self-love as a solo journey. But in reality, love, especially love for ourselves, is learned, felt, and affirmed in community. So, I’ll leave you with this:

What would change if you gave yourself permission to experience life more fully...to be present, to release, to reconnect with joy?

Let’s continue this conversation in the comments below.

Tune in to my first sonic experience as well as my latest episode and let’s explore how embracing pleasure, connection, and emotional courage through self-expression can transform the way we lead, create, and build community.

The Corruption of Consumerism: Eroding Intuition, Creativity, Well-Being, and Innovation

In a world saturated with advertisements and relentless marketing, consumerism has become more than just an economic activity; it's a cultural force shaping our identities, desires, and behaviors. While consumption is an integral part of modern life, the pervasive nature of consumer culture can have profound impacts on our intuition, creativity, well-being, and capacity for innovation.

The Subtle Erosion of Intuition and Creativity

From a young age, individuals are bombarded with messages dictating ideals of beauty, success, and happiness. This external influence can drown out inner voices, leading to a diminished sense of self and intuition. For example, the rise of social media influencers has created a landscape where curated lifestyles become benchmarks for personal aspirations. Research indicates that both Gen Z and Millennials place high importance on the authenticity of influencers, yet the constant exposure to idealized images can blur the lines between genuine self-expression and consumer-driven identities.

Moreover, consumerism often promotes passive consumption over active creation. The emphasis on acquiring the latest products can stifle individual creativity, as people may prioritize fitting into prescribed molds over exploring unique expressions. This shift not only affects personal development but also hampers societal innovation.

Impacts on Well-Being

The relentless pursuit of consumer ideals can lead to adverse health outcomes. The Global Wellness Institute reports that the wellness economy, encompassing sectors like beauty, anti-aging, and fitness, reached a market size of $4.4 trillion in 2020. While this reflects a growing interest in wellbeing, it also underscores the commercialization of health, where wellness becomes another product to consume rather than a holistic state to achieve.

Economic Implications

On a broader scale, consumerism influences economic structures and labor markets. The focus on mass production and consumption can lead to unsustainable practices, affecting both the environment and economic stability. Conversely, economies that encourage innovation and creative problem-solving tend to experience more sustainable growth. Research from Harvard Business School highlights that environments fostering teamwork and idea-sharing see increased productivity, suggesting that moving beyond consumerist mindsets can lead to more robust economic outcomes.

‘Nosedive’ promo asset for the Netflix series “Black Mirror”

Cultural Reflections

Popular media often mirrors and critiques consumer culture. The Netflix series "Black Mirror," particularly the episode "Nosedive," portrays a society obsessed with social ratings, reflecting the extremes of consumerist values infiltrating personal identity and societal interactions. Artists like Dechii and Billie Eilish challenge traditional norms by rejecting stereotypical images of beauty, creativity, and success, encouraging authenticity over conformity.

A Path Forward: Reclaiming Self and Society

To counteract the corrosive effects of consumerism, individuals and communities can:

• Cultivate Mindfulness: Engage in practices that enhance self-awareness, helping to distinguish between intrinsic desires and externally imposed wants.

• Foster Creativity: Encourage activities that promote creation over consumption, such as art, writing, or community projects.

• Redefine Success: Shift societal values to honor wellbeing, relationships, and personal growth rather than material accumulation.

• Support Authentic Media: Engage with and promote content that values genuine expression over commercial interests.

By acknowledging and addressing the pervasive influence of consumerism, we can reclaim our intuition, nurture our creativity, enhance our well-being, and foster a culture of true innovation.

The Future of Community & Marketing: Why ‘Fourth Spaces’ Are the Key to Connection & Wellbeing

For decades, the conversation around gathering has been focused on where we meet: coffee shops, gyms, coworking spaces. Now however, as we move deeper into a digitally fluid world, the why behind our gatherings is becoming even more important.

Enter Fourth Spaces™ which is a term coined in Eventbrite’s latest Fourth Spaces Report, which highlights the evolving ways Gen Z and Millennials are blending their online and offline lives. Unlike traditional third places (think cafes and community centers), Fourth Spaces are designed to facilitate deep, shared experiences based on passion, identity, and wellbeing.

Photo Credit: Madelin Bolhman x Hardwater Cocktail Room - Bentonville, AR

The Rise of Fourth Spaces: From Online Spectators to IRL Participants

Today’s young adults have spent years curating online personas, diving into niche interests, and forming digital communities. But now, they’re seeking more: a way to bring those digital passions into real-life, immersive, multi-sensory environments. According the Eventbrite’s report:

• 95% of 18- to 35-year-olds want to explore online interests through in-person events.

• 73% are drawn to communities that offer a sense of belonging and identity.

• 64% attend events specifically to make new friends.

This shift from passive online engagement to active, in-person participation presents an enormous opportunity for brands, educators, and experience designers.

Photo Credit: Lewa Adewumi x Abike Ade

Designing for Pleasure: The Next Frontier in Fourth Spaces

I strongly believe Fourth Spaces hold the key to not just stronger communities, but also greater wellbeing, creativity, and brand engagement.

Photo Credit: Koen

That’s why I’m designing offerings like ‘Unwind’ and Dancing With The DJ. My vision is these carefully curated offerings will serve as a multi-destination, pleasure-based enrichment experience, leveraging multi-sensory design, immersive storytelling, and will be tailored to each location’s unique cultural, artistic, and wellness landscape, in an effort to create experiences that:

• Strengthen emotional wellbeing through curated, real-world gatherings.

• Redefine community-building by blending digital engagement with tactile, in-person interactions.

• Drive marketing impact through intimate, high-touch experiences that resonate emotionally.

But what does a pleasure-centered Fourth Space actually look like in practice?

The New Playbook: Crafting Multi-Sensory, Story-Driven Experiences

Photo Credit: Brandon Frias x Los Angeles Tea House

Looking at Eventbrite’s research, we see six major experience categories driving the Fourth Space movement:

1. Culinary Circles – Supper clubs, themed dinner parties, and chef-led pop-ups that transform food into a creative social experience.

2. Live Social Clubs – Music, comedy, and performing arts events that blur the line between audience and performer.

3. Game-Based Gatherings – Interactive trivia nights, esports tournaments, and retro gaming events fostering strategic play and collaboration.

4. Creative Expression Labs – Hands-on workshops for painting, pottery, photography, and other artistic exploration.

5. Fandom Festivities – Watch parties, cosplay events, and creator meetups that bring online fan communities to life.

6. Healthy Hangouts – Group wellness experiences like hiking clubs, sound baths, and sober-curious social gatherings.

The common thread?

These experiences all tap into pleasure, curiosity, and connection which are fundamental human drivers that brands, creative curators, and community leaders must embrace to stay ahead in the experience economy.

The Business Case for Pleasure-Based Fourth Spaces

Brands like Nike and Sephora have already begun experimenting with multi-sensory marketing activations, but there’s still massive untapped potential in designing pleasure-centered experiences that foster deeper human connection and brand affinity.

• 72% of Gen Z and Millennials prioritize experiences over material goods.

• Experiential marketing campaigns generate 2x higher brand engagement than traditional digital advertising.

• 79% of young adults prefer events that combine multiple interests, creating richer, more dynamic experiences.

I see Fourth Spaces as the ultimate intersection of storytelling, enrichment, and emotional connection, not just a place to gather, but a platform for self-discovery, creativity, and transformation.

Photo Credit: Dominique Crenn

What’s Next? Let’s Create the Future

As Fourth Spaces redefine how and why we gather, the key question becomes:

How can we co-create immersive, pleasure-based experiences that align with this cultural shift?

The opportunity is wide open for wellness and pleasure-based educators, creatives, brands, and experience designers to shape this next era of connection. Whether through immersive storytelling, sensory-driven environments, or wellbeing-focused activations, those who innovate in this space will not only capture attention but cultivate lasting, purpose-driven communities.

If you’re interested in designing Fourth Spaces that enrich lives, deepen engagement, and drive meaningful impact, let’s connect. Drop a comment or reach out—I’d love to build with you.