My Year of Kintsugi: 
Acknowledging My Wounded Inner Child

KINTSUGI

/kin•tsoo•gee/

Kintsugi is a Japanese art form intended to repair broken pottery using lacquer mixed with powdered gold. The damage and rejoining reflects the history of the object. The gold is intended to highlight the journey of the object and not disguise the broken pieces.

The golden rejoining.

Art reflecting life.

We all have moments in life that break us and often, instead of taking space to acknowledge the circumstances, their impact, and honor how we truly feel or who we're becoming now as a result of the experience, we rush to mend and cover up the damage. Fear of judgment, shame and other "stuff" creeps in and distorts our perception of the truth: there is beauty in the cracks and contrasting moments of life.

Kintsugi was not only the inspiration for the jacket I designed for my boudoir photo shoot I coordinated for my 37th birthday, but this philosophy became the very approach for me to intentionally practice shaking the shame and making peace with the many broken pieces I had been disguising in my own life up to that point.

I wrote often and chose boudoir photography to visually document this internal commitment I was making with and for myself. I still cannot find words to describe the discomfort of this process. I also have not found a way to articulate how grateful I am, how brave and liberated I feel - finally. What I do know for sure is that we blossom at our own pace and there will be different people, places, practices to help us evolve from and make peace with our broken pieces. But take it from me:

NEVER hide pieces of your story...they're what made you the beautiful work of art that you are!

NEVER diminish your own light.

I am so thankful for my year of Kintsugi and all that has come and gone as a result of this practice. I am purposefully pursuing pleasure in all life areas now, it's a new me.

The golden rejoining.

My Art May Cause You To Feel

I want my new creative direction and enrichment offerings to incorporate elements of nature and interdisciplinary collaborations. Additionally, it is important for me to use written, sonic, aroma, and visual language to design provocative, interactive spaces that help expose us to those abandoned parts of self.

I've lived through countless experiences that have given fear permission to take up space in my life. Fear's extended stay has kept me trapped in situations because the clarity that came from comfort, outweighed my desires to stretch for more of what exists in the unknown. Fear also caused me to abandon younger, unnurtured parts of myself.

Can you relate?

The Vision

The 4 Personas: My Integrated Self

For this chapter of my life, I'll tap into the innate strengths of my "four personas" who have, in their own way, played a role in empowering others...but now, I need them!

So please meet Khalia, Hunter, Nik, and Mari. These archetypes are a reflection of my lived experiences that made me who I am today; experiences that are familiar to many of us.

Together, my 4 personas support me in acknowledging my mind and body when fear is attempting to take center stage. Fear often does this when I'm exploring something for the first time or revisiting what makes my soul sing, but I regretfully put away because it didn't initially unfold how I intended.

Fear creeps in when I take steps to show the many sides of myself that I rarely let run free for the world to see - but no more! I'm making some changes around here - for my own growth, and to move humanity forward. Be on the lookout for enrichment experiences that correlate to each of my personas. Please, BARE With Me!

- Ms. Marisha

Khalia

Reclaiming the Divine Feminine

Khalia, the divine feminine spirit, has journeyed through shadows cast by religion and experienced the pain of suppressed desires. Shy and introverted, she's struggled to accept her body and femininity due to years of indoctrination. Her experiences left her disconnected from her sensuality and intimacy. But now, her path leads her towards healing and rediscovering her power. With fragrances that awaken her senses and touch that rekindles her soul, Khalia embarks on a journey to embrace the full spectrum of her femininity. Through intimate conversations, tantra, and role-playing, she's learning to let go of the shame and guilt ingrained in her by society's standards. As she explores touch and intimacy in their various forms, she's reclaiming her body and building a connection to her inner wisdom. Khalia's story is one of transformation—a journey from shame to self-acceptance and a revival of her connection to the divine feminine within.

  • Khalia is learning to let go of:

    • the idea that femininity has to be demonstrated in particular way/that it “looks” like something specific - a mind and emotional state developed from representations in the media

    • guilt/shame around sex/intimacy/pleasure/desire which came from religious upbringing and sexual abuse in early childhood

    • long-term emotional unavailability/lack of authentic connection with others which came from emotionally unavailable parents

  • Essential SOULutions to Return to Harmony:

    • fragrances that awaken the senses

    • designing home and community spaces

    • exploring intimacy (conversations, tantra, role playing)

    • having dance parties, alone in the living room

    • dressing up to enjoy good food in a unique space

  • I trust that my intuition is my most valuable business partner. When I make career and financial decisions, I will honor my ability to sense the right opportunities, partnerships, and timing. I will lean into my divine femininity, choosing flow over force, receptivity over restriction, and creation over competition. My financial growth will be a reflection of alignment, not just effort, and I will design experiences that empower women to feel embodied, confident, and in tune with their own pleasure.

Hunter

Saving Superwoman

Hunter, a fierce and relentless competitor, carries a spark of intensity that sets her apart. She thrives on challenges and knows no fear in the face of obstacles. Her brash exterior masks a deep vulnerability—a survival instinct she adopted as a black woman striving to prove herself in a world that demands more. She's realizing the weight of her identity as the unyielding superwoman, who believes she must be strong at all times. However, her journey is steering her towards the power of vulnerability and the beauty of authenticity.

With the roar of rap and hip-hop beats blaring in her car, Hunter finds solace in long drives and invigorating physical activities. These outlets help her strip away the armor she's worn for so long. She's learning to embrace her multifaceted self, balancing strength with vulnerability, and championing the reconnection with her own emotions. She's letting go of the need for constant perfection and the fear of failure, replacing them with the freedom to explore and the courage to express her authentic self.

  • Hunter is learning to let go of:

    • her identity as the superwoman, the strong friend, the always has to have it together girl, which likely developed from existing in “survival mode” as the black woman who has to work twice as hard at anything to advance or be seen/feel valued

    • outwardly accolades for accomplishments, egodriven behavior from being an athlete

    • attachment to her masculine energy that she uses in many environments as a form of protection, strength, etc.

    • fear of failure

  • Essential SOULutions to Return to Harmony:

    • long drives

    • loud music

    • physical activity (basketball, boxing)

    • intimate social events with loved ones

  • My career and financial success will be rooted in audacity, the courage to take up space, to create without apology, and to move with intention. Just as music and motion are inseparable, my work will be a dynamic force, shifting culture and amplifying artistry. My financial strategy will reflect my belief in betting on myself, making power moves, and investing in experiences that elevate artists and redefine entertainment. When I move, I move with purpose and abundance follows.

Nik

Returning Humanity Back Home - To Harmony

Nik, the compassionate teacher and guide, possesses a deep wisdom that resonates with those around her. Her genuine interest in others often leads her to prioritize their needs above her own, a pattern she's realizing is rooted in the idea that self-worth comes from perpetual struggle. She's been grappling with conforming to professional norms, suppressing her playful and authentic self for the sake of acceptance. Yet, her path is guiding her towards reclaiming her authenticity and creating spaces that facilitate growth and connection. In her pursuit of balance, Nik finds solace in learning new things, indulging in stand-up comedy, and cherishing heartfelt moments with loved ones. By embracing the joy of exploration and laughter, she's breaking free from the "Good Samaritan" syndrome, learning to prioritize her own well-being alongside the needs of others.

  • Nik is learning to let go of:

    • the “Good Samaritan syndrome” or feeling like one's worth comes from struggle/over commitment to the cause/community, which came from religion/family/ society’s scripts that “money is the root of all evil” and doing for the good of humanity is to be prioritized over self, prosperity, etc.

    • can’t be authentic self in a “professional setting” so conforming is what accelerates growth and what’s expected/accepted in professional life which came from conservative views on how to present in the workplace.

  • Essential SOULutions to Return to Harmony:

    • learning new things (almost anything)

    • watching stand up comedy and documentaries

    • exchanging memes/ gifs with loved ones

    • naps

  • Every decision I make whether in business, finances, or creative pursuits will be a reflection of my commitment to growth. I will invest in knowledge, innovation, and wisdom, knowing that mastery compounds over time. My work will not just inform, but transform, creating a movement that empowers others to prioritize pleasure as an essential part of personal and professional development. Financially, I will choose sustainability over short-term gains, ensuring that my work remains timeless and deeply impactful.

Mari

The Unapologetic Creator

Mari, with her audacious demeanor and unapologetic confidence, radiates a captivating energy that draws people in. She exudes leadership and artistic flair, commanding attention without reservation. Beneath her assertive exterior, she's yearning to shed the notion that play and imagination are exclusive to childhood. She's exploring her artistic spirit, unburdening herself from the "starving artist" mentality, and embracing her intuitive foresight. Nature serves as Mari's sanctuary, whether she's wandering the desert, countryside, or beach. Surrounded by the beauty of the world, she's inspired to channel her creative energy into the arts, interior design, and even augmented reality. As she reconnects with her intuitive nature and lets go of self-imposed limitations, Mari's journey becomes a testament to embracing play, imagination, and the powerful gift of discernment that resides within her. Mari's journey is one of creative expression and audacious exploration.

  • Mari is learning to let go of:

    • the notion that play and imagination is simply childlike behavior which came from family, work, and society’s scripts about “adulting”

    • the starving artist mentality particularly with no credentials or professional experience in traditional arts which came from social scripts and an internal belief that she has to pursue “artistic” endeavors in a particular way

    • she was “crazy” for her intuitive nature/ foresight that was accessible since early childhood which came from no access to resources, people, language outside of “church” that could support the knowledge and development of this gift of discernment

  • Essential SOULutions to Return to Harmony:

    • nature (desert, countryside, beach...in that order)

    • the arts

    • interior design/ architecture

    • augmented reality

    • creating/being in company with creatives

  • I will build a career and financial ecosystem that honors my boundless creativity and my love for co-creation. My imagination is not just a tool, it is the foundation of my success. Every decision I make will reflect my belief that art should make people feel deeply, and that collaboration is the key to expansive, limitless expression. I will invest in experiences that spark wonder, create emotional resonance, and invite others into immersive storytelling that expands our collective understanding of pleasure, play, and presence.

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