Let That Shit Go: Why Taking Score of "The Now" Makes You Unhappy
I often feel saddened and baffled by the paranoia that's associated with being single. There are so many advantages to dating (or not), but often, we become attached to the idea of a relationship or marriage that we invalidate the value of single-hood.
Do you find yourself questioning your standards and priorities? Do you wonder if there are "any good fish left in the sea" or perseverate on the lack of quality dating prospects during friend-time? This type of self-doubt slowly chips away at happiness, and we neglect and ultimately abandon the many other qualities of single-life that should be appreciated.
Life has a way of "working out" when we accept it on its own terms -- instead of forcing our own agendas. When we resist the natural order, we tend to create experiences and connect with people that are reflective of those very same attributes. In short, unhappy people tend to attract unhappy relationships (or no relationships at all!)."
Happy and successful people aren't just happy and successful because they never give up and have everything their way. They're happy and successful because they also know when to surrender -- they know when to quit and pivot in a new direction (in love and life).
So, how do you do that?
There are patterns we all display in each life domain. You might be wondering, what on earth does that mean? Well, the goal is to figure out what your trends are -- recognize the contributions you make that lead to your life experiences (good and bad). Let's talk specifically about the bad ones. Some mindsets and behaviors we adopt to protect ourselves may not be optimal. The key here is to give up on what's no longer serving you and replace those old habits with more effective/positive ones.
Are you looking for love?
You don't need to be engaged in a romantic relationship to find love. Consider cultivating love where you are right now -- strengthen existing friendships, family relationships, deepen the love you have for yourself. Give up the notion that you are looking for love and attempt to bring love with you - wherever you go.
If attracting love into your life is a challenge, that's OK. I suggest considering ways in which you can give it. If you focus on giving love, you will never be the road-block preventing love from coming in (i.e. visualize a door swinging in and out -- the entryway has no barriers). Are there any barriers blocking your entryway?
Perhaps most essential, enjoy the journey! There's no possible way to reach a happy ending when you're traveling a miserable journey. Remember that "the now" is simply a reflection of the thoughts, emotions, and actions of your past. So you get to choose right now, what you'd like to experience in the future instead.
So, practice with me!
Whether you're a beginner or pro-level meditation junkie, I've put together "Let That Shit Go," a guided meditation for you to practice the calming effects of moving into a true state of surrender. The goal? To appreciate life as it is. Avoid being overly concerned. It's tough to fix and force things in any particular way, so stop trying. Instead, allow things to fall into place...when the time is right!
Click the button below to access my "Let It Go" guided meditation. Enjoy
Share how you feel now in the comments below. Are there other ways you have learned to surrender? Tell us what approaches do you use?